The Stinking Rose

No, I didn't poop on a flower. Yeah, Chris, I know that's what you were thinking. Thut up.

But my house did challenge the average nozzicle for a weekend recently, as I put up a huge batch of roasted gahlick for my BFF (well, she got most of it). It's a good way to clear the DH out of the house - he can't stand the smell (irony too good to elaborate on, by the way...).

You probably won't ever be inspired to do this yourself, especially if you know me and have figured out that all you have to do is ask for some, but here's the recipe and steps anyway.

• Cut enough off the tops of whole garlic heads to expose most cloves in their skins. Do not separate the head, or cut so much off that you waste the garlic. As a matter of fact, if you have an extra hour, you can get a good yield in raw garlic from the tips you cut off.


• Arrange the heads in a foil lined baking dish. Pack them tightly - won't hurt.


• Drizzle good olive oil liberally over the heads, make sure each one gets a dose.


• Grind fresh black pepper and sea salt over the heads to taste. I go heavy on the pepper, not so heavy on the salt.


• Cover the heads with a layer of parchment paper before bringing the tin foil up and over. No real reason for this, except that I don't like the idea of aluminum in direct contact. Seal the foil tightly but not crunched down on the garlic - leave some room there.


• Bake at 350 for a half hour, then at 300 until the smell is so amazing that you are going to pass out if you don't take them out of the oven. But don't - wait another 15 minutes. Should take about 2 hours. It depends.


• Using a very small spoon, carefully pull each garlic clove out of the skins.

Yes, this is a labor of love. You'll get olive oil and garlic smoosh all the way up to your hairline. Tough. Suck it up. The cloves will be really soft, but should still hold their shape. Don't panic though if some are mushed up. I DO NOT recommend just smashing the whole head to make all the garlic squirt out. It is not a zit. Treat this stuff with respect. If you go the smooshing route, you'll spend almost as much time picking the skins out anyway.

After all cloves are extracted, fill jars and bottles about 3/4 full with cloves, and top off with more olive oil. Refrigerate.

I can't make enough of this stuff - Miss Janet eats them like they are candy, right out of the jar.

It's worth the effort though - throw a big spoonful into hot mashed potatoes, and OMG.

Oh yeah - if you have any small jars with screw top lids you would just recycle anyway, save them for me, would you? I think there'll be another batch soon!!!